Search and the City: 6 similarities between job hunting and dating
You probably never thought “Sex and the City” would be an appropriate topic for LinkedIn. But I recently realized that my journey to find a new career is strangely similar Carrie’s Bradshaw’s journey to find love.
Through six original seasons, two movies and the current reboot, author Carrie writes about the highs and lows of romance, and she narrates her work as it intertwines with her life.
I’m also a writer, but otherwise I’m the opposite of Carrie Bradshaw. She lives in New York City while I live in a one-stoplight town. She has a passion for designer shoes while I live for my sneakers.
You get the point.
Still, while rewatching the original “Sex and the City” series, I found myself noting that Carrie’s love life felt strangely similar to my current professional life.
Is searching for a romantic partner like searching for a new job? (And yes, I meant for that to sound like something our fabulous narrator would ask herself while typing away in her iconic brownstone.)
Inspired by Carrie, her love life and her best gal pals, here are six similarities I’ve noticed between the path to love and the path to a new career.
1. Using all the apps. Dating apps didn’t exist when Carrie started dating in NYC. But today, they are the most popular way to meet someone new. If you’re looking for a job, just replace Bumble or Tinder with apps like LinkedIn and Indeed. Job hunters and singles: Make sure you update your profile information, use a nice picture and adjust your settings. Also, watch out for anything that sounds too good to be true – catfishing happens in the dating world and professional world.
2. Making a great first impression. Job interviews feel a lot like first dates because the first impression is critical. You must make sure your date, or potential employer, sees you as a great catch, but you also don’t want to seem too desperate. Be sure to wear the right clothes, say the right things, and cross your fingers that they ask to see you again.
3. Getting rejected. Whether dating or job hunting, you can’t let the fear of rejection keep you from putting yourself out there. Sometimes you might hear, “Sorry, you’re not the right fit.” And sometimes, you may never know what happened. (Side eye to the organization that ghosted me after three rounds of interviews). No matter what, keep your chin up and keep looking for your next potential match.
4. Making a commitment. Accepting a job offer after just a few dates – er, interviews – is a big decision. You need to ask: Are you really compatible with each other? Are they going to meet your needs? Are you ready to stop looking for others and commit to this one?
5. Knowing when to end it. Like lifelong relationships, lifelong jobs are extremely rare. Most of us will have multiple jobs over the course of our careers. Sometimes you’ll get dumped (laid off or fired), and sometimes, you’ll decide that it’s time to break up (resign). And yes, it’s OK to end a relationship/job without knowing what’s next.
6. Staying true to yourself. In “Sex and the City,” Carrie’s core group of girlfriends had vastly different perspectives on relationships and careers. There should be a LinkedIn version of the quizzes that ask: “Are you a Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte?” Here’s my take on each one.
Samantha relishes the single life and runs her own PR firm. The ultimate entrepreneur, she reminds us that we don’t need anyone else to succeed.
Miranda is a pragmatic lawyer at first, but her life completely shifts (no spoilers here) as she realizes it’s important to make changes and take risks. She reminds us that it’s OK if our life and career don’t turn out how we originally planned.
Charlotte is an eternal optimist. She follows her passions and believes in soul mates. She reminds us not to give up because our perfect match is out there waiting.
As for Carrie? Well, I’m not caught up on the latest seasons of her life, but I think she is a survivor. She’s had several relationships, one BIG love (see what I did there?), and a successful career documenting it all.
I think Carrie’s writing, and the entire “Sex and the City” franchise, is popular because almost everyone can find a piece of themselves in the story. That’s how, even though I seemingly have nothing in common a woman dating in NYC, I realized the path to love looks a lot like the path to a finding new job.
And just like that, I have hope that Carrie’s story, and my own, will eventually have a happy ending.
